epic-humor:

copy and paste yourself into my bed

(Source: samuraimofo, via trust)

hannibb:

who wears the pants in the relationship? well preferably no one will be wearing pants

(via relahvant)

literaryghoul:

unless your teachers are abusive assholes there is no fucking reason to disrespect them

they are literally trying their hardest to get you an education

teachers have every right to complain about rude students or the amount of papers they have to grade because their salary is low as shit

oh wow, your math teacher yelled at you because you were ignoring the lesson and talking to your friend

i wonder why

jesus christ teachers have it hard enough dont be an asshole

(Source: chatotai, via distraction)

thrustingbutts:

skincarvedheart:

that-horny-mofo:

Remember when Kim Possible was on Lilo and Stitch?

image

Or How about when The Proud Family decided to visit?

image

Or when those fucking kids from Recess came over to Hawaii

image

Lilo was a popular little bitch.

the conflicting art styles are making me uncomfortable…

(Source: thehornymofo, via ishouldgethelp)

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

(via ishouldgethelp)

awwww-cute:

This little guy needed a break mid-walk

(via ishouldgethelp)

Timestamp: 1405840822

awwww-cute:

This little guy needed a break mid-walk

(via ishouldgethelp)

cookienun:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

australiansanta:

foodtrucker:

the-average-introvert:

jimmy-carrs-laugh:

kcindys:

foodtrucker:

you’ve never felt self hatred until you’ve heard a recording of your voice

and then i saw my face

and now im a believer

not a trace

of doubt in my mind

stop

im in love

oooooo00000ooo

IM A BELIEVER I COULDNT LEAVE HER IF I TRIED

*guitar solo*

(Source: foodtrucker, via ishouldgethelp)

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

(via ishouldgethelp)

Timestamp: 1405840744

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

(via ishouldgethelp)

lordticklefish:

emkaymlp:

traptin85:

adrianianan:

frodogardener:

when someone in an argument has missed the point so much you just

image

OH GOD if you drag the image in chrome and overlay it back over the gif, you get a still image of him in the chair while it looks like his ghost stands up and leaves his body.

this is important

image

It got better.

(Source: teamfivey, via ishouldgethelp)